N E P t u n e: Wedding

Viet marriage

Sun, 06 May 2007 02:24:52 GMT

(Actually, this entry had been a draft for almost a week.)

Different cultures bring different ways of acting. What I want to talk to here is something calls engagement and wedding. Some of you might be wondering how Vietnamese traditional wedding process is and here you are, I am going to give you some brief things on that exciting process.

The very first and most important thing is that the two people, the boy and girl have a great love together and they feel love is ripe enough and they are ready to step on the high level of their relationship. And then, as other cultures I think, the boy is the one who has the inititave to ask for startig the process. Certainly, nowadays, during the time boy and girl dating with each other, the two families may already know about their relationship but in fact, they still have to talk to their parents and families to ask for the permission officially.

The process begins at a visit the girl's family of the boy's family. This is the first visit of the two families and the purpose of this is to get to know each other; no more. Talk during this visit is very open, as people from both families are making friend with new people. Two families may have to express their opinion about their kids' relationship. And the most important result of this visit is that they both are unanimous in taking a date for propose marrige. Actually, the boy's family has to ask for that and the girl's family give the answer ("yes" is the perfect answer that most of people are waiting for).

The propose marriage always happens at the girl's house (I mean her parent's house). On the predetermined date, the boy's famile will come with some traditional offering: betel and areca and rice wine. They should be the boy's parent, his brothers or sisters, aunties and uncles. Regarding the girl's family, they have to prepare something to serve during the meeting. What they talk about is that the boy's family asks the girl's parent for the permission to marry. It's strange that both the girl and the boy are not allowed to be there, at the talk of the two families. This is because people think that is the talk of the elders. After the girl's family says yes for the permission, they will go into a talk on a schedule for the engagement ceremony. What they have is an exact date to organize the ceremony. Pictures below are taken on my sister's propose marriage day, just for illustrating.

The next step to go calls engagement. This is organized by the girl's family and traditionally, at the girl's house; nowadays, maybe in a restaurant. The boy's family comes and also brings some offering; similar with offering they have on propose marriage day but more on quantity and are prepared better. They have a small ceremony to pray and let the ancestor know what is happening to both families. And then, party... The schedule for the wedding day is also known on this day.

The last and most wonderful step is wedding. This should be another entry about Viet wedding later...

Oh, not finished yet, there still is one more step after the wedding day. Well, you could guess what; very xoxoxo...

I will have to wait until next July, when my sister's engagement ceremony will happen to get some pictures on that. And certainly you will find them somewhere around this blog.

Some highlights at the wedding

Tue, 11 Apr 2006 10:02:08 GMT

Wonderful !!!

Tue, 11 Apr 2006 09:00:47 GMT

I mean the wedding. So sorry for this late post. That because I had to be in the ceremony and could not take picture so I asked Kerry to help me doing that. I forgot telling her how to turn the flash on so most of the pictures in my camera are really bad. That is my fault, Kerry, you don't have to feel sorry about that. And I have to come to ask Cindy for the pictures. The second problem I got is the pictures upload tool of MSN. In fact, I have changed to using Firefox cause Microsoft Internet Explorer has some errors and when I was trying to upload all wedding pictures onto my blog, I recognized MSN just allows to upload 7 pictures one time and I have to pick only one picture once. So that is why it took me so much time to finish more than 150 pictures. But I found that tool of MSN space does not change when I tried using Microsoft by chance this morning; I mean I still can upload a lot of pictues at only one time when I use Microsoft IE. Okay, I experience about that and I should use Microsoft IE when working with MSN space.

Forget the problem, I have posted all of the pictures finally. They are in a new photo album "Jon & Julie's wedding". Let I show you a bit about the wedding last Sunday. It was at my college and Julie could borrow the hall A1 (the biggest one). It was not a mock wedding as it is in fact because everything was organized so well. At the beginning of the ceremony, we came in the wedding hall in turn, me, the best man and mother of bride, groom and mother of groom, groomsmen and bridesmaids, maid of honor, flower girl and finally, the bride. Too bad that father of groom has a foot fracture so he could not walk, but take a look on the pictures, you can see he danced with the bride in the party right after the ceremony. The ceremony took about half an hour I guess and we got out the hall in turn as we did to get in the hall at the beginning. We had to shake everyone's hand and say thanks to them. There were more than 200 guests at the wedding so I worked like a machine that moving the hand in front of me and shake their hand automatically and repeat "Thanks for coming... Thanks for coming... Thanks for coming..." and waiting until the long guests line pass through.

We moved to a nice place in the college to take some pictures and then, the party. Mother of bride and groom and best man and maid of honor gave their speech. And we danced and had some traditional games. The students were pretty shy at first and just sticked on their seat. But much better and funner when the party was going to the end.

I think everyone did a great job at the wedding. And that is really interesting to me and also to you I bet if you were there. It is worth it to know, I mean the American traditional wedding. I know it is not enough to show you about it in this short post but you can find more with this file: Julie & Jon's wedding program (it is PDF format. If you have not had Acrobat Reader, please click here to download for free).

Regarding the pictures, I will try to ask Jon to get some more pictures on the ceremony in his camera when he comes back Hue after the honeymoon and will upload them later.

Anyway, thanks so much to Kerry for helping me taking the pictures and to Cindy for the very nice pictures. Congratulations Julie & Jon !!! Both of you were wonderful last Sunday.

American wedding is coming soon

Wed, 05 Apr 2006 15:35:40 GMT

Hi all, too bad that I have been so busy these days. I am working on two projects at the same time, that are the co-oporation between MEDRIX and my Department and the other is of the college. Also some personal work to get ready for my MA's degree in the future. Another special event that I am joining is the wedding of my friend that I told you in the previous posts. It will be in the afternoon of this Sunday but we have some meeting before the official day to make sure everything is ready. Sorry that I don't have time to show you all about it but I recommend to you the wedding blog if you wish more information about this special event. And for sure, I will post pictures on it soon.
Wish you are not like me at the moment, I mean have some time to enjoy yourself. Cya.

What I've learned about writing a great best man toast

Tue, 21 Mar 2006 15:57:38 GMT

Someone once said that being asked to be the best man is a little bit like being asked to kiss the Queen Mother: it's a great honor, but nobody wants to do it! This sentiment is largely derived from the best man duty of having to get up in front of a large crowd and toasting the bride and groom. There's pressure on you to do it right and not mess up their big day, but it's not as hard as it looks. Writing a great toast requires a little creativity, a little patience, some hard work, and some ingenuity. Someone thought enough of you to ask you to be best man in their wedding, so have some faith in yourself and your ability to say the words that will wish them the best.

Before you begin
Start off by writing down thoughts freely about the bride and groom and your relationship to them.

1. How do you know them?

2. Why did they choose you as best man?

3. How would you describe each of them? What are the first five adjectives that come to mind?

4. What was the groom like before he met the bride? How has he changed knowing her?

5. How did they meet? How did the groom tell you about her?

6. If you are married, you may wish to think about marriage advice you've received or have learned.

7. Are there any particularly amusing anecdotes that illustrate who the bride and/or groom is?

Once you've done that, it's time to craft those ideas into a heartfelt and entertaining toast.

Beginning
   Start off by introducing yourself, as not everyone in the room will know who you are. You might say "Excuse me everyone, if I could have your attention for a moment. I'd like to take a few moments to say a few words about our bride and groom. I'm Tuan, Jon's best man and longtime good friend (or brother, son, etc.)" To get people's attention, you might insert a quick joke here or a quote about marriage. Before you get too far into your speech, you should thank the people hosting, traditionally the parents of the bride. If the bride and groom are paying for the wedding themselves, simply say, "We're all delighted to be here today on this joyous occasion."

Middle
   This is where the notes you wrote down before will really come in handy. Tell a funny story about the bride and/or groom (note I said "funny" not humiliating!), give your thoughts on love and marriage, tell the story of how they met, or talk about how you've seen them change through their relationship. While you may know the groom better, try to make your toast balanced, speaking about each of them. Try not to talk too long as nobody wants to hear you ramble, but do give some interesting details. At all costs, avoid ex-girlfriend stories and keep it rated PG for kids and grandmothers in the room! Most of all, if you are sincere about what you are saying, and your words come from the heart, it's hard to go wrong.

Closing
It's often good to wrap up your toast with a wish, traditional toast, or blessing for the bride and groom. Raise your glass with a resounding congratulations, cheers, l'chaim or salud, and don't forget to drink to your own toast!
   Now it's time to relax, enjoy the wedding, and support your friends.

A few tips on delivering the toast:
   Remember, even though you're nervous, to speak loudly and clearly. Hopefully you'll have a microphone, but even if you do you'll need to make sure to enunciate. Nothing worse than listening to five minutes of mumbling nonsense.
   Don't drink too much before you give your speech. A drink or two might help loosen you up, but more than that and you'll just look like a fool.
   Don't read straight from the card. These are supposed to be heart-felt words, not a scripted response. It's better to paraphrase what you've written, and get the general sentiment across. Of course, you can have your notes handy, just remember to make eye-contact with the people you are speaking to.
   Didn't your mother always tell you to stand up straight? That goes twice when toasting.

Answer key for the American wedding quiz

Fri, 10 Mar 2006 08:29:42 GMT

Hello everyone.

At first, I want to say thanks to all of you for joining the American wedding quiz that I posted about a week ago. I appreciate your responses even though there is only one person whose answer is correct.

Here is the answer key:

1. Traditionally, the engagement ring is a diamond solitaire.	True
2. Women wear the engagement ring on the second finger (ring finger) of the right hand.		False
3. Traditionally, the groom's family is financially responsible for the wedding expenses.		False
4. The night before the wedding, the bride-to-be holds a Bachellorette Party while the groom arranges a Bachelor Party for his friends.		False
5. The wedding ceremony is usually rehearsed the day before so that all the members of the wedding party know the rituals to be followed.	True
6. The night before the wedding, at a dinner bride and groom present their attendees with small gifts as a token of their appreciation for their participation in the ceremony.	True
7. The groom comes to the bride's home to take her to the wedding ceremony.		False
8. The bride is supposed to wear only brand new things.		False
9. Nowadays, the bride and groom will often prepare a part of the spoken service themselves to express their own commitment to each other.	True
10. After the newlyweds return from their honeymoon trip, they are expected to send thank-you notes to all of the guests who attended the ceremony and the reception and for the gifts that they bought.	True

And I am pleased to announce Mrs. Cindy Young is the only winner and the prize has been sent to her. Congratulations !!! Mrs. Cindy Young.

Learn American wedding

Thu, 02 Mar 2006 13:45:18 GMT

My close friend is planning out her wedding, an unofficial wedding in Hue at the beginning of April and she wants to have me as the best friend of the groom at the wedding. That would be so interesting to me and prods me to do some research on the traditional American wedding. I have read some writing on this and recommend you to do that as learning some about a new culture. You can find out the planning process for the wedding on my friend’s blog its name is “An American Wedding in Vietnam”. And the general knowledge about American wedding could be gained from these quick questions, in case you don’t have time to read a lot about this topic.

Please be free giving the answers for these following questions. Don't worry they would be right or wrong. Just use your experience about this topic or even guessing and try your best !

1. Traditionally, the engagement ring is a diamond solitaire.	True	False
2. Women wear the engagement ring on the second finger (ring finger) of the right hand.	True	False
3. Traditionally, the groom's family is financially responsible for the wedding expenses.	True	False
4. The night before the wedding, the bride-to-be holds a Bachellorette Party while the groom arranges a Bachelor Party for his friends.	True	False
5. The wedding ceremony is usually rehearsed the day before so that all the members of the wedding party know the rituals to be followed.	True	False
6. The night before the wedding, at a dinner bride and groom present their attendees with small gifts as a token of their appreciation for their participation in the ceremony.	True	False
7. The groom comes to the bride's home to take her to the wedding ceremony.	True	False
8. The bride is supposed to wear only brand new things.	True	False
9. Nowadays, the bride and groom will often prepare a part of the spoken service themselves to express their own commitment to each other.	True	False
10. After the newlyweds return from their honeymoon trip, they are expected to send thank-you notes to all of the guests who attended the ceremony and the reception and for the gifts that they bought.	True	False

Your answers could be sent me by comment or email. And a wonderful and huge picture of Hue, my hometown would be the prize for 10 first people whose answers are correct.

The answer key will come soon...